| Here it is, at 32, the brain's addendum |
[08 Sep 2007|07:34pm] |
Older now. Not necessarily wiser.
Birthday on Thursday was good, quiet and reflective. The changes afoot at the moment are a little frightening, more on-the-cusp ness than usual. In the last month, two of my songs made semifinalist in the UK songwriting contest, engendering interest from BBC Radio York, I applied to be in a zombie movie (no news yet but I only did it a few days ago), I found a guitarist, made friends in York who I *don't* live with, became properly single and happy about it, got a permanent full time job at York Hospital on a decent salary, made crumble for the first time in my life, had the loveliest leaving do from the York Youth Offending Team, made my own album cover with photos of forests, and saw two very very old friends who I haven't seen in a very long time.
If I focus on what has been it makes me feel sad to be older, but at the same time I am so aware that I'm in a very strong position to follow those dreams. We are not given a dream without being given the means to make it come true.
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| Memeage thievery... |
[06 Mar 2006|10:16pm] |
Stolen from many people:
Ask me a question about each of the following:
Friends
Sex
Music
Drugs
Love
Livejournal
No matter how rude, sexual, or confidential. Then post this in your journal and see what questions you get asked! Comments are screened, and will remain so unless you say otherwise. Do your worst.
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Another gacking - this time from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7) tephramancy |
[28 Feb 2006|02:36pm] |
Comment here anonymously, with the following:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note. It doesn't have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. And a hint to who you are.
:-)
I do love a guessing game, I do, I do :-)
(screened)
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| I can see my journal going friends only very soon |
[09 Feb 2006|08:45pm] |
Apparently I'm a stalker, but don't tell anyone. The restraining order from last time has only just worn off. Damn.
The lesson I learn from this is: If someone tells you they are no good for you, they are certainly right.
So. N? Anyone else who wants to friend up? Do it fast. I'm going FO in the next 24 hours. My journal is private, and never should be a showground for popcorn girly-drama. m'kay? :)
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| Wheeeee! |
[09 Feb 2006|11:13am] |
I got an Interview at Fellside :-)
Stage 1 - passed! *bounces excitedly* Off to Cumbria for me next wednesday!
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| Thoughts for the day.... |
[08 Feb 2006|08:21pm] |
Licking peanut butter off a spoon is just TOO good :)
Lupus sucks. It's dark, pokey, the other secretaries are miserable, there's a three month backlog of letters, and the manager is wishy washy. Thank goodness I only have two more days there..
Working in Rheumatology on the other hand meant that I could be incredibly useful to my tutee who is doing a project on arthritis :-D
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| N says... |
[06 Feb 2006|11:40pm] |
...passive aggressive is when someone tries to be nice when they are feeling hurt or angry.
What I really should do is just resort to physical violence.
Hurhur hurhur! Cool!!
But seriously, what is it? I mean I have been accused of it of late, and I'd really like to know the nature of my alleged crime.
It seems to be, whenever you say something to someone that they don't want to hear, and you try to do it calmly and nicely, then that is a cue for a Cartman style: " that was passive aggression man!"
Should I just preclude everything with a slap? Then noone can get confused: *SLAP* "You really hurt my feelings today and I wish you would try not to do that again".
Maybe I need to get in touch with my inner spite? Let out my constrained Kali and let her kick some arse? All to a gentle soundtrack of Bach or Beethoven, and me murmuring: "I do wish you would just communicate with me"
I'm so confused. I thought I knew how to do this, but it seems not. I'm entering scary psychobabble world. I may never escape.
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| 5 good things about today... |
[06 Feb 2006|02:30pm] |
1) All of my forms are done and on their way to Cumbria. Now I just sit and wait.
2) I have an evening free to do some much needed writing. Which is good, cause if all goes well, my exposure's about to take a huge leap forward.
3) Despite a really shite day yesterday, I'm still standing.
4) I've had a really productive morning.
5) I'm beginning to feel like this move is definitely going to happen.
Rah!
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| In what way... |
[05 Feb 2006|01:25pm] |
...does choosing to back away from a friendship that is not particularly good for me at present make me a "victim"?
Answers on a postcard please.
I'm so angry right now.
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| What a day. |
[05 Feb 2006|12:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 heartbroken and in pain |
] |
I've lost a friend
gained a urinary tract infection
and my mums old boss just called to say his mum, Cherry, died last week - and she was so kind to me when I was a child. I'm really saddened by that news.
Meh.
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| Coming for to carry me home... |
[04 Feb 2006|10:37pm] |
Hooray for 6 Nations :-) Ireland played so badly at first that I thought the Italians had actually learnt to play. Fortunately they redeemed themselves.
England battered the Welsh - Blush was full of Wales supporters today but I snuck out before they'd noticed me. It was nice, I hadn't been brave about going to Blush alone yet, but as I could have predicted, Siobhan and the girls took me under their collective wing. Keely has decided that I'm a keeper. *grins*
Louise was there - the famous wailing Louise of Kroaky fame. I am now authorised to tell you gentle reader, that her rendition of Swing Low and indeed any rugby chant is no better. She can officially massacre any chant or song placed in her path.
This evening I am determinedly finishing the last bits of that evil evil form so I can post it tomorrow (four drafts of the personal statement *weeps*) and watching 100 greatest cartoons on E4. Oh such an exciting life I lead...
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| Hush, hush, don't tell me cause it hurts... |
[04 Feb 2006|10:21am] |
Heh. Last night I had the honour of having the owner of a certain establishment come and *ask* me to sing :-) I'm chuffed to bits!
Manic Monday, Perfect, Don't Speak, two guinnesses, several silly flirtations, Kroaky War with Deb (excellent voice!), old friends who I haven't seen in years *waves to Simone and Johanna*, meeting T for the first time in real life and a long sleep later, and I'm more or less ready for Saturday :-)
Last night *almost* made me reconsider leaving. But only for a fraction of a second. I will appreciate these memories as a good parting shot of london.
Today is Six Nations!!! I should be in Blush from 1 if anyone fancies it, cheering on grunting men running into eachother :-)
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| I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want... |
[01 Feb 2006|06:25pm] |
...is to go to bed early with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book.
However, the library shuts early on a Wednesday, which is obviously God's way of telling me to do paperwork instead.
Oh and light some candles for Imbolc... Happy Candlemas!
I feel that what tonight really needs is Clannad and chocolate stout. Morrisons doesn't do chocolate stout sadly. But I may go on a mission to one of the hundreds of tiny obscure off licences round here to find some.
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| Random thoughts one has when one is audio typing... |
[01 Feb 2006|11:51am] |
I wonder how long it will be til someone sets up IUA (internet Users Anonymous).
Does anyone else wear comfort clothes to work if they are feeling poorly?
(I'm wearing my big red chenille jumper cause it feels like being cuddled... I look possibly a bit too casual for the office, but I don't care...)
I need more tea.
Why is it that a city with weather as grey as london builds everything out of grey stone? Out the window today all I can see is a swathe of grey. The only relief is the patch of green in front of the hospital.
I dreamt about being in the Lakes last night. In my dream I was trying to get home from work and I was having to walk through waist deep mud. But the scenery was gorgeous so I didn't care. I think the dream may have meant something. Like a metaphor, minus penguin slapping my leg with a wet fish, for the idea that I'm trying to get home (aka to Cumbria) and it's going to be a bit of a slog for a while.
*goes to put the kettle on*
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| The world's gone mad and everybody's gay... |
[01 Feb 2006|09:45am] |
...Still no login at work - which means I can't remind IT to stop firewalling gingerbeer (my argument, which as yet they have found no defence for, is that it is discrimination to bar it...).
Never mind, I shall relieve stress and boredom by whinging on here instead.
I'm really not getting enough sleep and the chest infection of doom is back *sobs*
But I am making it to work come hell or high water. Money means getting out of london. Getting out of london means sanity restored.
Besides, sitting at a desk typing is hardly arduous. I have tea. And biscuits. Oh wait. No, I forgot those. But I have tea.
I'm sure I shall think of more to say in a bit... Hope everyone is having a good day.
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| It's just another manic Monday... |
[30 Jan 2006|12:36pm] |
Signs that it is, indeed, the second most evil day of the week:
I overslept
leaky milk in the fridge
inability to find house keys
bank fucked up a payment
northern line is screwed (that's every day though)
workload is enormous
But there has been good news too - a random musician blokey found my myspace and friended me :) You too can friend me! Go there at once!
(www.myspace.com/kesstrel - it's what all the cool kids are doing....)
I did not get enough sleep last night. Msn is bad, so very very bad.
Kitans are good for your health. I plan to play with mine a lot tonight to make up for leaving her this morning...
Random waffle...
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| Rude vegetables |
[28 Jan 2006|07:29pm] |
I inadvertantly bought a rude carrot at Stoke Newington Farmers Market today.
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| Because it's Friday and I can... |
[27 Jan 2006|12:45pm] |
Ask me anything you like. Ask me anonymously if you want. Anything at all. Though if it is rude, I may screen it...
I'll try my best to answer.
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| Bugger me in a happy sort of way... |
[27 Jan 2006|10:14am] |
There are direct trains to Oxenholme from London Euston. And they only take 3 hours!
That makes me unaccountably happy...
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